I've Seen the Way (G/t Snippet)

"I've seen the way you look at him."

I jump when the tiny man in the wheelchair behind me clears his throat and speaks. Damn, how is he so quiet in that thing? Was I really that lost in thought, not to notice the subtle rolling of wheels across smooth linoleum? Blood rushes to my cheeks, the crimson liquid betraying my casual countenance. A few moments of silence pass. What do I say to that? What am I supposed to say? God knows that what I feel is against the rules... against nature. I want to talk to the kind doctor but I don't know, I just don't know if I'm... wrong.

"Come on, I've seen the way you look at him. Don't pretend it isn't there."

I turn around slowly and am immediately met by the soul-penetrating gaze of a human being no bigger than my palm, seated in the chair that's part of him, on a high platform he resents. He stares, he blinks, the wrinkles at the corners of his temples crinkle as he mulls me over, discovering my every thought in a single once-over with wise eyes. I can't hide from this man. My hands wring... I laugh nervously.

"Sorry Doc. I know staring is against the rules! I can't help it sometimes. Everyone's just so small here." Will it work? Will he fail to recognize the magnets in my eyes that pull my gaze everlastingly towards the boy across the dining hall?

"Don't you dare try and pass it off as an uncontrollable fascination with size! You know what this is about. I know you know." His voice cracks like a whip, and I cringe. Of course it didn't work. I scold myself, knowing that there's no pulling the wool over the all seeing eyes of Dr. Perrine. His mind must have been designed for us giants, I think. It needed bigger things to pull in, to study. And now he studies me, and I can't tell if he's angry or worried or emotionless, all I know is that he's seeing straight through me, to my core. I swallow. I lower my gaze.

"I see you every day," he whispers ", don't you know it's my job to watch out for you, kid? And for him too?" Doc Perrys voice softens. "I take one look at those big, doe-y eyes of yours and trail them all the way across the room to him. I notice."

"I-.... Doc please, don't tell anyone, I can't make it stop. I know I'm not supposed to look at him like that but I-" air trails out of my mouth and yet I nearly choke on my words. A giant in love with a human... when would I ever hear the end of it if we were together? When would the protesters stop declaring us unnatural and misguided by sin? Beasiality even? As if I were a giant monster, or he just a pet to toy with. When would the rumors stop? The slurs, the hate, the fear at what they wouldn't understand, the savage teeth of society plagued by segregating rules of right and wrong digging into a love no different from their own except in size.
I wait, my heart crammed up in my throat. He'll tell me no. He'll tell me it's wrong. He'll pity me for such foolish love for someone whose face could get lost in my kiss, whose whole body could become invisible in my hug, and the pity is what I fear most from this wise man in the wheelchair.

He rolls himself to the railing. It shocks me to see him close to a ledge so daunting, however safely it was designed. Only big points are to be made near steep edges.

Doc speaks softly. "Who said you're not supposed to?" I raise my gaze to his, unsure of what I heard. He sees the questions in my eyes. "I've seen the way you look at him, kid, and I see the way I look at my wife. I see the way my nephew looks at his husband. I see the way my grandmother used to look at my mother with all the love in the world, and then I see you. You think this is wrong? You think that the world should hold you back? What have I taught you, if not to love without prejudice? You're blind to us. You're blind to how different we are from you, kid. Why should you think for one millisecond that anyone's ideas of who you're 'supposed' to love, should stop you from loving?"

Shocked, I hang my fingers over the edge of the tin railing and look sideways at Doc Perry. ".... You're... you... think it's ok?"

"What kind of person would I be if I didn't? It's my job to look after you two, and hell if I won't be here to tell you when you're doing right." I feel a tiny hand against my finger, steady and reassuring, and in that moment my heart starts beating again. It's okay to love. It's ok to be head over heels for my sweet human friend, for my program-partner and my best friend.

Doc stares me square in the eyes as I let a relieved smile spread across my face. The tiny man I look up to more than I could look up to any giant smiles back at me.

"And y'know what? I've seen the way he looks at you too."